You fall into it every time. It starts with an innocent desire to be helpful, make things easier and show them how caring, generous and accommodating you are; and then quickly turns into something you never really wanted at all.

You now have more responsibility.

And you have to continue doing and being what he, she, or they want and need because you said you could…and that you would.

But, you really don’t want to.

In fact, that is not what you really ever wanted.

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.


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I know you. You are confident, capable and yes, considerate, generous and genuinely kind.

You are reliable, you show up and you provide incredible value.

You were always told that this is what you are supposed to bring to the table, and so you do…always.

But, what if I told you that everything you really want in your life, love and career depends on you holding back and setting boundaries; drawing people, experiences and opportunity into your life as you do.

On the surface it always seems like a good idea. Doing more and being more than you really want feels like it will yield great results; and that you will be recognized for the selfless, generous and considerate person that you are.

What most of us don’t realize is that there is no honor in being a martyr. In fact, what you think you will gain from doing what you don’t really want, never actually happens.

There won’t be glory.

There won’t be admiration.

There won’t be infinite gratitude.

And it definitely won’t buy you a “pass” later on.

But it will leave you feeling depleted, exhausted, and perhaps taken advantage of…when in reality, you have done it to yourself.

Your boss may or may not notice.

Your man won’t love or appreciate you any more (in fact it could be just the opposite).

Your children will never reciprocate your efforts.

And you will never get the recognition you that you legitimately deserve.

So give it up girlfriend.

You and you alone are responsible for structuring your time and your life the way that you want.

We all have choice.

The way we choose to spend our time, the people we choose to align with, the words we speak and actions we take…they are all ours to control.

And so are what we allow, what we create and what we let go of.

These are the choices and the boundaries that you get to make each and every day.

So tell me, are you taking advantage of your power of choice?

What can you let go of that you no longer want responsibility for?

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