So it’s been almost three weeks since I moved into my new home and begun my next chapter as an empty nester.
As I returned home after work tonight, I found myself once again in my kitchen, refrigerator open, trying to decide what to make myself for dinner.
I have waited so long to sell my house, settle into a darling, cozy little cottage, and focus on the impact I want to make as I journey forward. My vision and plan are big, and exciting…and I am eager to take advantage of every opportunity that comes my way to get there.
However I once again am sitting down to dinner by myself. No invitations from friends. No visitors to join me at my table.
I had almost forgotten just how lonely it can feel when letting go of what was.
The truth is that when you let go, you walk alone.
You are the one who will need to make the tough choices.
You are the one who will accept the consequences of them.
You will be the only one to soothe your broken heart, celebrate your freedom, and comfort yourself when the empty space tries to swallow you whole.
You are the only one responsible for letting go and everything that comes with it.
We often think that our friends should surround us with love and support…and maybe they will. But they are not obligated and there is no one that can do the job in the same way that you can.
We often think that the answers will immediately appear and that the empty space left behind will be filled quickly, but that doesn’t really happen. The journey is one that we must walk alone so that we can hear the messages that we are meant to learn.
We walk alone because we are supposed to.
There is no point getting upset and angry at those friends and family that are conspicuously absent from making you feel better.
There is no point wondering why you feel so alone and seek to quickly fill the empty space where someone or something used to be.
I have been reminded of this once again, as I stand in front of an open refrigerator, wondering what to make myself for dinner. I am alone in the creation of this new and next chapter; which is both frightening and exhilarating at the same time.
There are lessons I am meant to learn as I walk this path on my own; and to learn them, I have to accept that it is as it is meant to be.
As I sit down to eat, alone, the quiet forces me to feel…to feel everything that I am supposed to feel. And in the quiet, I will learn about myself. I will ask myself the tough questions, I will experience my vulnerability and I will explore possibilities that I might not have ever considered. All because I have given myself permission to do so.
Whether it be letting go of a relationship, a house, a job or a friend, you will walk this journey alone…even when you don’t want to and when you don’t believe you should. But it is necessary so you can become the person you are meant to be.
I have found a new courage and confidence while going at it alone. New home, new neighborhood, and new routines; they all invite in new possibility and opportunity. It isn’t comfortable and I’m not sure you ever get fully used to it, but it is as it needs to be…and allows for the unfolding of what will be.
Where in your life have you found yourself walking alone? Can you give yourself permission to move confidently forward on your own new path?