So, as I have told you, my week was full of fun, familiar, new and exciting activities. But that was not all that this week was about¦there were themes that emerged and because I gave myself the gift of quiet¦I was able to hear them.
It is on this wonderful vacation that I found my first realization of what you really need to move along your journey of divorce¦I had first learned these many years ago, but had forgotten to hold tight to them, even when life becomes loud!
The first thing you need is some quiet every day or week so that you can REALLY hear what your life is telling you. It is a fact that each of us has the answers within us. We know deep down what we want and we need, but life becomes too noisy during transition and we forget to listen.
While I was away I listened to myself and learned that I need more nature in my life, which is actually the second thing you need. But before I talk about nature, let me get back to listening to ourselves.
During the busy weeks that I know we each have, while dealing with all of the things that divorce forces you to deal with, the kids, the custody schedules, the job, the business, the family obligations¦.and all other challenges that arise, it is almost impossible to remember to make time to listen to yourself. However, it is the most important thing you need to do in order to be able to move forward.
So, make sure that you make and create time each day or week to listen to what your life is telling you.
Nature, as it happens, was the first thing my life told me this week, and, it is the second thing that you absolutely must have. Nature, being outdoors, connects you to something greater and instantly changes your state of being. I have known this my whole life, but when I was married, the pursuit of being in nature was not shared with my husband and so it became just one of the things that I told myself I could live without. But, it is not. We all need nature to ground us and allow us to breathe in opportunity and possibility.
So, you need to find time every week for being in nature. A walk around the block, a hike, playing catch with your dog, outdoor run, skiing, snow shoeing¦anything that takes into the great outdoors to breathe in fresh air!
The third thing that I learned from myself was how much I love learning and how we all desperately need it. And I mean learning anything at all!
On this trip, I learned how to cross country ski and what the art of alpine hiking is all about. And I loved them both! Taking on a new kind of skiing, learning the technique and finding out how strenuous it is, was extremely fun! At the same time, I learned by visiting Appalachian Mountain Club visitor sites and lodges, all about this wonderful winter hiking experience called alpine hiking. Incredibly beautiful scenery, strenuous exercise, easy and fun¦I am absolutely hooked!
And I realized that it isn’t only me¦we are not living unless we are growing. It is imperative that we learn new things¦no matter how small, to grow and develop our whole selves.
Take time to think about what interests you? What have you always wanted to do? What have you always wanted to learn or know about or experience?
So, be curious. For without curiosity, there would be no learning or growing!
The last thing that I learned from myself is how important it is to put things into perspective and get out of ourselves. Being in New Hampshire and talking with those who live a completely different life to mine, reminded me that there is a big, huge world outside of myself and my life.
What happens today, tomorrow, next week, month or year¦is all my choice. And it is yours as well.
I met people of all ages, stages of life and socioeconomic status. I saw that there are many avenues from which one can come and go through their life. And that life offers us many opportunities to choose those avenues. Going through divorce offers many challenges, but even more opportunities to choose where you want to go and what comes next!
I had the opportunity to take a week off to rediscover these four key ingredients for managing your divorce and any life transition, but it didn’t have to be a full week.
Give yourself a day, a weekend or a mini vacation so that you can reconnect with yourself and your authentic selves.
During a time in your life when it is often difficult to remember these four key needs, it becomes even more critical to create time, however short, to review them and create a plan for them.
Have a great week!