I recently watched this commercial and it resonated to my core.

[youtube_sc url=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xh9jAD1ofm4″]

It’s what you do in the dark.

Yes, the dark.

When no one is looking.

When everyone is looking.

When things go awry in your life, relationship or career.

When life hands you lemons. You know, the things you never imagined you would be experiencing.

When you are asking yourself why.

In the dark moments that leave you deeply afraid, excruciatingly sad, and overwhelmed by it all is where you will find who you really are.

As I watched this video I was reminded of the many dark and lonely experiences I have been through, personally and professionally, I could feel the struggle viscerally.

But I also know that it has been in the dark that I have found my greatest strengths.

I found my vulnerability, and my courage.

I found my judgement, and my discipline.

I found my wisdom and my resilience.

I discovered my gifts, talents, passion and purpose…I found the woman, mother, lover and leader that I am meant to be.

But it took grit,


infinite tears,

extreme self-care,


and doing the work…the outer and inner work.

As I do more work consulting to high performing women and executive teams, the message is no different. It is what happens when the going gets tough, when conflict is greatest and performance gets interrupted by dysfunction, that true leadership will emerge.

But not without commitment.

It takes intention and action to become who you are meant to be….to take a true position as leader.

I recently co-facilitated a full day training to a team at Yale University; a team that embraces the philosophy that “good is not good enough”. And yet, at the beginning of the day, they hadn’t understood or had the tools to know how to successfully navigate the challenges and turbulence of their careers as individuals and members of a diverse and complex team matrix.

A long time ago I discovered that my passion, the thing that makes my heart race, is when people understand and learn to own their performance.

By the end of the day, they had let go of excuses, embraced their vulnerability and learned how to activate themselves to perform at their best in any situation. They had also learned how their strengths and leadership styles could integrate best with others, thereby creating maximum performance from their teams.

You have everything you need already within you…the question is, are you ready to take action?

It is what we do in the dark that puts you in the light.

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