Lately I have found myself frustrated with all of the posts, advice and rhetoric about women “having it all”.
We are told we “can” have it all.
We are told we “can’t” have it all.
We are told to explore what “having it all” really means.
But we are never really told the truth. So here it is.
There is no such thing as “it all”. There is no “all”.
What you have is your one, amazing life.
And you’re one amazing life is really just a series of opportunities, adversities, experiences and relationships. Some of them expected and others not so much; some will be desired and others not at all.
At every age and stage “having it all” will mean something different, and at every age and stage you will determine what that means for you.
What no one ever tells you is that “having it all” is really about your mastery of resilience.
It is your ability to move through each and every age and stage in a way that makes you feel good.
It is the way that you continue to pursue all that you desire while at the same time honoring your responsibilities.
It is facing the good, the bad and the ugly of your life with courage, confidence, intention and grace.
It is knowing that your life, love and career are going to have to find a sacred balance and that whether you like it or not, whether you are ready or not, you will find yourself faced with situations you can’t possibly imagine.
Having it all is knowing what to do when those unanticipated, unwelcome, extraordinary, and life changing moments present themselves.
Moments that challenge you to become the best version of yourself, through the best and worst of times. The moments that force you to grow and expand in ways that you never thought possible.
Having it all is your ability to bend, but not break… to stumble but not fall.
It isn’t in the money you have, the things you accumulate, or the image you project; it is the way you feel as you face the raw and real experience of life.
Yes, you can have it all…but only when you acknowledge just how beautiful, powerful and resilient you really are.