So, what are you avoiding?


A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.

I was struck by the beauty and truth of this quote.

The most frequent calls I get are from women who find themselves uncomfortable.

They may be uncomfortable in their job, their career, their life or their intimate, love relationship, but they have also reached a moment when the discomfort is greater than the unknown of what’s to come.

What they do know is that it is time to take action…it’s time to break through

Together, as we begin to explore a plan for moving forward, I watch as they reflect on and eventually embrace the fact that everything they want is on the other side of discomfort and the only way to get there is to move into and power through the unknown.

And because it is so uncomfortable, the tendency is to avoid it.

But, there more we avoid addressing the tension, the conflict, the inner calling of our what our mind, body, soul and heart want…the closer we become to the moment of such discomfort; a moment that inevitably convinces us to take action.

So what happens if we continue to avoid taking the steps necessary to achieve what we want in an attempt to stay safely, yet not always happily, in our precious comfort zone?

  1. Communication with those in our professional and personal lives will suffer.

When we avoid a conversation, call to action, invitation to a new experience or challenge, dream, desire or unspoken passion, we are simultaneously trying to convince ourselves that what we want doesn’t matter and can’t/shouldn’t happen. The emotions that result from this internal tension will often come through in the way we communicate and engage with other in our lives. Whether with our partners, colleagues, friends or family, the conflict we are feeling from this lack of alignment will affect our relationships because we are merely reflecting the frustration resulting from avoidance; even when you aren’t even aware it is happening.

  1. Our performance becomes lackluster.

Avoidance diminishes our edge. The excitement, energy and mojo that comes with embracing what we desire will slowly fade away when we ignore the call for action. Often for women it is such a slow growing disconnect from our inner power that we aren’t even aware it is happening. But over time, our performance begins to suffer and we lose our edge.


  1. Our health and wellness may become compromised.

There are countless effects of avoidance on our health and wellness. From anxiety, sleeplessness and overwhelm, to physical pain, lack of energy and all kinds of physiological symptoms; ignoring what we know in our heart we are called to do is one of the greatest sources of physical and emotional suffering. Holding back and retreating from what we are meant to do is a significant cause of depression for women today.


  1. We overlook opportunities to showcase our talent.

When we avoid or look away from and avoid uncomfortable situations, we also often miss opportunities that present themselves. Avoidance causes us to close ourselves off and therefore, overlook or simply not notice when we are extended an invitation for a new experience, challenge, or opportunity.


  1. We lose sight of our ability and commitment to serve.

Most of us know when we are avoiding, and often we become unconsciously frustrated with ourselves for doing so. Unfortunately, when we feel disappointed or frustrated with ourselves, we can lose sight of serving others. Our focus becomes on staying where we are rather than putting forth our best performance and being of service to our work, our relationships and our purpose in the world.

It is so easy for us to remain comfortably where we are, even if it isn’t what we really want.

So the question is, where in your life are you avoiding the discomfort of what might be for the safety and comfort of what is?


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