To stop and explore where you are today will begin to prepare you for where you want to go.

The process of evolving and to begin your journey, involves first understanding where you are today and why.

Often times people will say, “This is who I am” or “This is just the way I am”, as if this is:

• the way they were born
• the way they have to be
• a reason for not making change in their lives

NONE OF THESE ARE TRUE, they are simply an excuse to avoid understanding what is really going on!

We are where we are today because of all of the experiences that we have had over our lifetime. They have formed our choices and our decisions…creating for us a set of “rules” by which we lead our lives.

For example:

1. If I don’t make XXX amount of money, I am a failure.
2. If I am not happy all the time then I am not a good wife.

Often times we do not even know the complicated and impossible rules that we have set for ourselves. Rules that make it impossible for us to be successful within our own lives.

Anxious

The good news is, they are not permanent! You are NOT your values and rules…you get to create new, empowering values and rules whenever you wish!

How do you do that? Well, there are a few first steps that you can take to understand what your current rules and values are so that you know where your journey begins.

 

Step One

Determine what your current positive values are. Make a list of the 5 values that are most important to you…to help, use the question:

What has been most important to you to feel in your life?

When you have done this, you will know the top five feelings that you currently aspire to experience.

Step Two

Then you need to determine what “rules” you have made about each one of them? To do this, answer the following question for each of the 5 values:

What has to happen in order for you to feel _________?

When this part is complete, you will know the “rules” of each of your top 5 values….what needs to happen for you to feel each of the values.

Step Three

Determine what your current negative values are. Make a list of the 5 values that you don’t want to feel…to help, use the question:

In the past, what have been the feelings you would do almost anything to avoid having to feel?

When you have done this, you will know the top five feelings that you currently do not want to feel.

Step Four

Then you need to determine what “rules” you have made about each one of them? To do this, answer the following question for each of the 5 values:

What has to happen in order for you to feel _________?

When this part is complete, you will know the “rules” of each of your top 5 values….what has to happen for you to feel the awful feeling that you are trying to avoid.

When you complete this exercise, you will have a picture of what you have set for your own rules of what has to happen to feel both your positive and negative values.

And when you do….your life will change forever!

However, this is just the beginning. You are not YOUR CURRENT values and rules. But, now that you know what has been driving you to feel what you do, you are well on your way to creating those new and empowering values and rules.

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