There are two words that I believe hold women back more than any others; “sure” and “fine”.
In fact, I find these words cringeworthy.
They are cop outs, cover ups and almost always, total bullshit. They are what women often say when they are not comfortable speaking their truth; when they are afraid to say what they really want.
The problem with using these words, is that they prevent you from doing and becoming what you truly desire and ultimately lead you to mediocrity in your life and career. A few years back, I broke up with mediocrity, I had had enough.
What I learned at that time was that while I no longer wanted mediocrity in my life and was focused completely on creating the life, love and career that I always wanted, I hadn’t really learned how to do it.
I didn’t know how to gracefully decline what I didn’t want.
I didn’t know how to make choices when my fear and doubt crept in.
I didn’t know how to use language, and my voice to speak the truth of how I felt.
I didn’t know how to build the kind of relationships that would ellevate me personally or professionally.
You see, these are not necessarily skills we are born with. They need to be learned, developed and practiced so that we can steer our lives and careers in the way we really want.
In working with hundreds of women over the years, I have come to realize just how afraid most women are to educate themselves in this way.
They don’t negotiate and advocate on themselves professionally because they think that they will be fired, or frowned upon; and instead accept the status quo, feeling frustrated and unappreciated.
They don’t ask for what they want in their most intimate relationships because they are afraid that they will be rejected or punished for asking, and instead, accept mediocrity which slowly erodes the health of their partnerships/marriages.
They don’t make choices about the way they spend their time and with who based on what they really wish, and instead fill their time “being busy” with all kinds of stuff that they wish they didn’t. But remember, being busy isn’t living.
They stay in relationships that aren’t good for them, they say things they really don’t mean, and they hold back on being who they really are for fear that they will lose their job, their friend or their relationship.
Isn’t it time?
Time to say no…gently and gracefully, but with intention.
Time to move on…from relationship and friendships that no longer serve who you really are.
Time to let go…of clients, commitments or jobs that make you unhappy and unfulfilled.
I think so.
My life, relationship and career changed completely when I took the time, actually when I not only chose, but make the commitment to, leaving behind “sure” and “fine”. They are no longer in my vocabulary.
Isn’t it time for you to break up with mediocrity?