So, it’s SUMMERTIME! A time for fun and exploration…renewal and recharging!
Have you made your plan?
Divorce most often results in:
• recurrence of old and sometimes negative patterns
IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY!
You may not be able to prevent having these feelings, but there are many ways that you can respond to them:
1. you can simply surrender to them and wallow in the sadness and depression
2. you can make the decision to control your journey and the process of divorce
3. you can surround yourself with knowledge and support
4. you can create a plan to regroup, renew and recharge yourself!
How do you do this?
Here are my tips for your summer planning!
• health and wellness – without good health and being fit, you willnit have the energy that you need to manage all of the areas of your life that need your attention. Make a commitment to take care of your one and only body this summer. Add ½ of some form of exercise each day. Whether its working in your garden, playing with your kids, walking your dog…spend ½ hour each and every day moving. You will be thrilled that you did!
• Beauty – nothing says spring like a new lipstick! The weather is warmer, the stress of school schedules is gone and the opportunities to relax and enjoy the break from routine is before you! Give yourself a new spring look! Get a new haircut, go have someone show you the new spring colors in makeup, get a manicure and put a fun spring color on! You will feel like a new woman!
• Eating – aaaaah…eating! The harder one for many of us! Take the summer as a time to put only wonderful and healthy things into your body! The farmers markets are out and are not only filled with beautiful and healthy food and produce, but are a wonderful social opportunity as well! Support local markets and farms by purchasing from them. You will be doing something good for your community, your health and the earth! Purchase a new cookbook and try some new recipes…perhaps you can encourage your children to join you on this new eating routine by allowing them to meal plan with you. Lots of wonderful ways to give your body the fuel it needs to keep you going!
• Sleeping – when you are dealing with a stressful time, your body needs more sleep than usual to regroup. Instead of watching tv each night before you go to bed, and probably watching later that you would like (as I frequently do!), turn OFF the tv and pick up a book….or, a magazine! Light a candle and put on some soothing music and play a game with your kids? Make sure that you get at least 7-8 hours of sleep a night…enough that your body is rested and rejuvenated at the beginning of each day! Your body will thank you for it!
• summer goals and projects – take time now to plan for the summer. Create a list of those projects or tasks that you would like to accomplish this summer and make a plan for how you will accomplish each one. The timing of the process or negotiation of divorce can often times be outside of your control, but what happens in your life is very much within your control. Keep your momentum going by planning a summer that allows you to move forward in creating your new life. Unsure of how to do this, get the support of a therapist or coach to give you the support you need and keep you accountable for doing what you say!
• Children – summer is a wonderful time to reconnect with your children in a new way. Without the school schedule and activity demands of the school year, you will have the opportunity to play more with them and share the experience of what summer has to offer! Take time each week to do something with your kids…take a walk or a bike ride with them, have a picnic at the beach or a park. Better yet, have them invite a friend or friends over and have a casual BBQ with them. Summer is for “fun” and you can help create that for them!
• social and recreational – summer is for fun! Open yourself up to new opportunities, new experiences and welcoming new people into your life. Join a club, volunteer or grab a book and go sit at an outdoor restaurant and read. You never know who you might meet? Invite friends over for a potluck dinner party and have them each bring a guest. Break your pattern and old routine…bring in a new spring strategy of recreation!I hope that this helps you to begin to create the summer plan for this year!
Breaking old patters and creating new ones is sometimes daunting when you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed…you don’t need to do it alone!
Divorce is a TEAM sport! You need to surround yourself with those individuals who will support you in all of the areas of your life.