Hey, how are you love? I haven’t heard from you for a few days…is everything okay?
Hi. I have had a rough few days. Stuff in my relationship and things going on with my son. I don’t want to talk about it, I sound like a broken record.
This is a recent text message exchange between me and one of my closest and dearest friends.
After sending her the Ok text, I chose to honor her request. I didn’t reach out again and two days later I got another text asking me if I was upset with her and that she felt I might be angry.
If you know me, you know that I am not fond of any real, emotion driven conversations taking place through text so I picked up the phone immediately and called her. I was not in any way upset, in fact, just the opposite.
For those of you who have reached your enough is enough moment and have ever chosen to talk with or work with me, you know that there is one way, and only one way, that I will express my love and support of you…and it is not at all what you may think.
I express my love through communicating the truth as I know and see it…even when it is uncomfortable.
As a friend, mother, coach, partner, and every other role I hold, this is how I show up.
So when I finally got my friend on the phone, I assured her that I was in no way upset or angry at her, but rather I was honoring that she didn’t want to talk about it.
While in my work as a strategist and coach I will ask questions that challenge you to go deep into your soul to uncover the truth of your desire, purpose and obstacles to having what you really want; as a friend I wait to be invited to do so.
What I didn’t realize (and I am not sure she did either) was just how much she appreciated and wanted me to share my truth with her.
When we spoke, she shared that my lack of curiosity and questioning led her to believe that I didn’t care and was upset, which wasn’t the case at all.
My truth has always called on me to love through honest, authentic and caring communication that comes from my desire to support people to live and love from their truth.
It is not my job to tell you what you want to hear.
It is my job, if you and I are in any form of relationship, to speak the truth of how I feel and what I observe if it will serve and support you to create the life and love you desire.
I love you so much that I am willing to risk you being uncomfortable or upset as I speak the truth.
I have seen relationships, whether between friends, parents and their children, or marriages/partners where individuals think that they will strengthen the relationship by saying what they think the other person wants to hear. But it never actually works out that way. Relationships grow and strengthen when we allow ourselves to risk being vulnerable by showing up in and speaking our truth.
My love knows no other way.
I know that the way I love can feel overwhelming to some; it can be uncomfortable to speak or to hear things that open you up in a vulnerable way. But that is where you will find your truth, your desire and the freedom that you seek.
My love is unwavering…as a friend, mother, partner and coach.
I invite you to join my on a loving path of truth and vulnerability; for that is where you will find the freedom you crave.