I’m not what you think.
Many of you know me through my work and business, from my social media presence or the many programs and articles that I have written over the years. Yes, I am a divorce strategist, relationship expert, and life coach; devoted to supporting women to become all that they are supposed to be. But it wasn’t always that way.
Fifteen years ago I was a suburban wife and mother, working full-time, actively involved in my community and spending the balance of my time with friends, at the gym, planning our social calendar and managing my household.
We were a popular couple, I was active in my children’s school and our synagogue, and supported numerous local non-profits. I went on field trips with my children, baked cupcakes for classroom celebrations, took care of the errands and made sure that everyone in my life had what they needed when they needed it.
My life was good.
My life was ordinary.
By anyone’s standard, I should have been happy in it. In fact, for many years, I convinced myself that I was. And because I should have been happy, I simply pretended that I was.
But inside, I didn’t quite feel that way.
As I drove around town going about my business, I would wonder….
Is this it?
Is this all there is?
What happened to me?
This isn’t what I thought it would be…
What if I could….
I felt trapped. Trapped in a life where I no longer felt passion, excitement or a true purpose. I wanted more sensuality, more challenge and more adventure.
But no one knew. I didn’t tell my friends or family; I just focused on my kids and filled up my time with all kinds of distractions. And the truth is, I was afraid to tell anyone because saying it would mean that I had to do something about it.
So, time went by. Years went by.
And then there was a moment where the pain and loneliness of pretending became greater than the uncertainty of speaking my truth. This was the moment I took action. This was the moment I began to let go of what was to be open to what would be.
That moment was ten years ago, when I went through my divorce; and it began a decade of letting go.
I let go of my marriage, relationships/friendships, jobs, bad habits, and other stuff; and every time I let go I was able to welcome in something new and amazing into my life.
But it wasn’t easy. And each time I let go, it came with sadness, loss, fear and uncertainty; it always left an empty space which would often feel sad and lonely. I learned that moving through this part of the transition was the only way to get to the good stuff.
In life and around my town alone I know dozens of women leading seemingly happy lives but who, behind their busyness, are also craving more. I am sure you know just as many.
I am still that woman. Working at my business, taking care of my kids and managing my household. Only now I am in a ridiculously amazing relationship and experience sexy, fun love! My business is my passion and purpose, and I am surrounded by kickass women who love, support and empower me in all kinds of ways.
I didn’t know how to create this kind of life back then, but because at that moment I chose to take action and made sure to get myself the kind of support I would need to guide me, I have been able to learn.
I knew nothing about this thing called personal development and in fact, I rolled my eyes whenever someone mentioned coach, affirmation, motivational speaker, or healing. I am not particularly woo woo and over the years have resisted many of the healing tools that inevitably helped me the most.
But I have learned, in conjunction with my business background and education and my Type A personality, how to create a life around what I want while being a very real, suburban mom.
Yes, I am now a divorce strategist, relationship expert and life coach; but I wasn’t always. As I learned the road map for letting go and intentionally creating the life and love I always imagined, I knew that I was meant to share it with you and every ordinary woman who is still pretending.
I’m not what you think.
I have been there. And now it is your time to take action.