Calm down.  Isn’t it frustrating when someone tells you to calm down when you feel anxious and upset?

I know that even though I hate hearing this phrase when my anxiety is rising, it is usually good advice!

I have found that the journey of divorce has increased my anxiety over the years and that the inconsistency and complexity of this transition has caused me to feel:

·    afraid
·    frustrated
·    anxious
·    panicky
·    depressed
·    angry

I have, however, devoted myself to stopping these emotions from taking control of me….now I take control of them.

How do I do it?

Well, it’s not hard to do… it just takes focus, attention and a commitment to making new choices.

Here are a few tips for managing fear and anxiety when emotions begin to take control:

·    lifelong learning

Adult education is THE best tool that I have found to get control of emotions.  The first sign of fear and anxiety is when you are avoiding something in your life.  Could be ending a relationship, dealing with debt, creating boundaries with your children…if you are avoiding it, you are probably afraid of it.

The ONLY way to deal with this kind of fear is to LEARN how to face it.  Educate yourself on the steps to take so that you can eliminate the fear and source of anxiety.

Take a class, work with a coach, go to a workshop…there are many options, both live and online, to learn.  It is well worth the money to eliminate fear and anxiety from you life!

·    calm

Calming down is harder than it sounds.  Fear and anxiety can show up in our lives emotionally, physically and psychologically.  They can paralyze us and render us unable to move forward.  

There is NEVER a reason for this to happen.  Learning basic meditation and deep breathing techniques is just one way to slow yourself down.

Another is to find quiet.  Take a short walk, take 15 minutes to lie down alone in your room, read for ½ hour, or drink a cup of herbal tea while sitting near a candle.  Find the things that help you to quiet your mind and your body.  

You will immediately feel your heart rate slow down and your mind begin to calm.  Then you can pick up where you were at.

·    write

I know…I am not a writer either.  Imagine my surprise at how effortlessly I began to write when my head began to spin with anxiety, overwhelm and confusion.  As the words spilled out of me onto the pages, I could actually feel my body relax.  

Get a journal or blank notebook and just start writing whenever you feel yourself beginning to get overwhelmed with anxiety and fear.  Write without censoring yourself.  How you feel, what are you afraid or worried about, what do you WISH and WANT to do about it.  Why aren’t you?  

These are the things that you should be contemplating and writing about in your journal.  Do not underestimate the power of writing.  And, you don’t have to show it to anyone!

My  Challenge to You!

I challenge you.  I challenge you to STOP making excuses of why you CAN’T:

·    take a class
·    take a little time to breath, rest, slow down
·    write in a journal to learn more about what is going on for you

ARE YOU READY?

If you email me your commitment to taking control of your emotions and the steps you are prepared to make,  I will give you two, complimentary one hour sessions on taking your life to a new level! 

I WANT YOU TO BE IN CONTROL!  

Together we can make a difference in your life!